oceanic mirages

गुलाब

2011-09-29T04:31:00.000-07:00

ये कौन हैं ख्याल जो मेज़बान हो गए,
क्यों अपने ही घर में हम मेहमान हो गए.

मैं देखूँ मेरे जिस्म के बँटते हुए टुकड़े,
कब मज़ार बने कब महफ़िल कब दुकान हो गए.

ये कैसी है सलीब, उठाये हर कंधा है जिसे,
ये कब खुदा बने, कब मसीहा, कब शैतान हो गए.

ये हक इश्क का सांझा, ये प्रीत तुझसे क्यों मेरी,
अदब तेरा, हुनर तेरा, क्यों मेरे गुमान हो गए.

अभी तो रूह जलती है, अभी तो मौत बाकी है,
कि इस महफ़िल में साकी, सभी अन्जान हो गए.

मोहब्बत मेरी ‘मिराज’, राख, कच्चा कोयला,
पाक माहताब पर दाग खुदाई के निशान हो गए.

ताल्लुक !

2011-09-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

इस यतीम रात को मैं कौन सा एक नाम दूँ,

क्या राख़ में लपेट कर,

इस पाक, कोरे चाँद को,

रख दूँ तेरी याद की, गिरह में कहीं.

या सुर्ख इस लहु से मैं ,

इस ख्वाब के इश्तिहार पर,

चंद लफ्ज़ तेरी गुफ्तगू के, मुज्तरिब, उकेरून कोई.

या बर्फाब तेरी आवाज़ को,

इस दिल के सहराओं में,

हर कुतबे पर कर सजदा मैं, खामोशियाँ ढूंढूं कहीं.

या लम्स कोई तेरी याद का,

क़दीम वक़्त की गिरफ्त से,

हयात कर रुखसारों पर, मैं रोशन तुझे करूँ यहीं…

तुझे नाम मैं न दूं कोई…

एक गुफ़्तगू

2011-08-04T04:29:00.000-07:00

खला मुक़द्दस है, और ख्वाब पाक़ सलीब मेरे मौला,

ये तजस्सुम भी क्या क़यामत के रोज़ तक्मील होगी…

वक़्त से कैसी शिकायत, कैसा शिक्वा मेरे मौला,

दर्द रवायत है, आह, इल्म में तब्दील होगी…

सर झुकाया है जरूर, घुटने टेके नहीं मौला,

मेरे किरदार का इम्तेहां क्या सिर्फ अन्जील होगी...

इस दामन के ये दाग भी हैं पाक मेरे मौला,

गुनाहों की फैरिस्त में सवाल, और जुस्तजू ज़लील होगी…

तू वाकिफ़ न हो मेरी रूह से ये मुमकिन नहीं मौला,

नशेमन की तलाश में बशारत शायद तहलील होगी…

मुम्किन है कुछ सब्र होगा मुझमें तेरा ‘मौला’

कुछ आतिश “मिराज” की तुझमें भी तख्मील होगी.

एक गुफ्तगू ...

2011-08-04T04:20:00.000-07:00

खला मुक़द्दस है, और ख्वाब पाक़ सलीब मेरे मौला,

ये तजस्सुम भी क्या क़यामत के रोज़ तकमील होगी…

वक़्त से कैसी शिकायत, कैसा शिक्वा मेरे मौला,

दर्द रवायत है, आह, इल्म में तब्दील होगी…

सर झुकाया है जरूर, घुटने टेके नहीं मौला,

मेरे किरदार का इम्तेहाँ क्या सिर्फ अन्जील होगी...

इस दामन के ये दाग भी हैं पाक़ मेरे मौला,

गुनाहों की फैरिस्त में सवाल, और जुस्तजू ज़लील होगी…

तू वाकिफ़ न हो मेरी रूह से ये मुमकिन नहीं मौला,

नशेमन की तलाश में बशारत शायद तहलील होगी…

मुमकिन है कुछ सब्र होगा मुझमे तेरा ‘मौला’,

कुछ आतिश “मिराज” की तुझमे भी तख्मील होगी.

बहाने...

2011-06-21T22:34:00.000-07:00

यूँ तो हमें मुस्कुराने के बहाने मिल ही जाते हैं,

इस शहर को भी चाहने के कुछ माने मिल ही जाते हैं।

क्यों फ़िक्र रुसवाई की हो, दामन छुपा के यूँ चले,

हर शक्स को भूल जाने को अफ़साने मिल ही जाते हैं।

न छेड़ो जुगनुओं को आज रात काफी हसीन है,

हर महफ़िल रोशन करने को परवाने मिल ही जाते हैं।

ये जश्न-ए-मोहब्बत देखो, जाम ख्वाइशों के नाम,

दिल और दर्द को ‘साकी’ दवाखाने मिल ही जाते हैं।

ज़मीन से फ़लक तक , तलाश बाकी है अभी,

कब्रिस्तान में हजारों को आशियाने मिल ही जाते हैं।

तावीज़ से बंधी , मिर्ची से उडी, नज़र हटाने,

ओ अहमक पुर्जे अनजाने मिल ही जाते हैं ।

कच्चे हैं ख्वाब रेत, बहते , मिलते हैं खो जाते हैं,

ये रिश्ते नाज़ुक हैं बहुत , आज़माने मिल ही जाते हैं।

खुदा नहीं जो कहता कभी, शैतैन को नामंज़ूर हुई,

वो दास्ताँ कहने वाले सनम दीवाने मिल ही जाते हैं।

दिल धड़कता नहीं ‘मिराज’, जुबां गुम सी हो गयी कहीं,

ग़ज़ल कहते हुए फिर भी यहाँ, कारखाने मिल ही जाते हैं.

यूँ ही (२)

2011-04-25T02:34:00.000-07:00

वो क्यों आज कलम फिर पुरानी ढूँढ़ते हैं ,

वक़्त में ठहरी हुई कोई निशानी ढूँढ़ते हैं।

पैरों से तेज़ चलते इन रास्तों में क्यों,

वो मंज़िल्लों के किस्से कहानी ढूँढ़ते हैं।

नए रंग रौनक की दुनिया से जुदा,

वो ज़ख्मों में दर्द जुबानी ढूँढ़ते हैं।

कोई ग़ज़ल, कोई कता, न रुबाई की तड़प,

वो महफ़िल यूँ रुसवा बेगानी ढूँढ़ते हैं।

गोया रोशन ही न हो ये दिन और न रात,

वो दौ-पहर में शमा अन्जानी ढूँढ़ते है।

तारीख ने जो लहू से कई आयतें लिखी,

हर लफ्ज़ में वो सिफ़र बेमानी ढूँढ़ते हैं।

मिट्टी है, यादें हैं, जो यहाँ भी वहां भी,

क्यों करबला में ही वो कुर्बानी ढूँढ़ते हैं।

साँस चलती है, दिल भी धड़कता है “मिराज"

फिर कहाँ सब बेसबब जिंदगानी ढूँढ़ते हैं।

सोचा ही नहीं था.

2011-02-15T06:10:00.000-08:00

मजबूर मोहब्बत होगी खुल्द में सोचा ही नहीं था,

खुदी हम, एक बाज़ार होंगे, सोचा ही नहीं था.

हर लम्हे में तेरे, खुदी को ढूँढा क्यों हमने,

कुछ लम्हे होंगे सिर्फ तेरे, सोचा ही नहीं था.

रात खाली मिली, क्यों स्याह आफताब मिला हमें ,

जुबां खाली, इल्म स्याह होगा, सोचा ही नहीं था.

वादा तो नहीं किया था, आने का, मेरे साकी,

एक जाम मेरे नाम न होगा, सोचा ही नहीं था.

ये कैसा पहरा है चाँद पर घड़ी चलती ही नहीं,

न सहर होगी न शाम, कभी सोचा ही नहीं था.

कहते तो हैं दुनिया में सभी, किरदार हैं ‘मिराज’,

इस अफ़साने में नहीं होगा कोई, सोचा ही नहीं था.

विचार 1

2011-01-21T02:43:00.000-08:00

कुएं में आजकल मेंडक नहीं,
मगरमच्छ दिखाई देते हैं।
कल सांझ खंडहरों के पास,
गिद्दों को कहते सुना था मैंने,
कुएं का पानी नमकीन हो रहा है।
उसका स्तर भी बढ़ रहा है।
यूँ ही नहीं विलाप की आवाज़ आती मुझे।
शायद अब कुछ दिन में,
आकाश साफ़ साफ़ नज़र आने लगे...

सवाल 1

2011-01-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

यूँ कहा कि कुछ कहा ही नहीं, ये गुफ्तगू हुई भी तो क्या हुई,

यूँ जिए की लगा हम जिए ही नहीं, ये ज़िन्दगी हुई भी तो क्या हुई.

शब् से रूठे कंदील जहाँ हम गए, शमा जली कब जल कर बुझ गयी,

ऐसे रोशन हुए कुछ दिखा ही नहीं, ये सेहर हुई भी तो क्या हुई.

न दोस्त, न दुशमन, न रिश्ता कोई, हम हैं भी और होकर भी कुछ नहीं

मेहमाँ भी नहीं, मेजबान भी नहीं, ये महफ़िल हुई भी तो क्या हुई.

कुछ जलसे हैं मेए जिसका हिस्सा नहीं, किस नीयत से चलते हैं मालूम नहीं,

तेरे सजदे में आबरू का सौदा करें, ये इबादात हुई भी तो क्या हुई.

खौफ आँखों में है, उसकी इज्ज़त नहीं, उस्ताद है वो लेकिन आलीम नहीं,

मेरे इल्म में शामिल बसीरत नहीं, ये तालीम हुई भी तो क्या हुई.

न तुक, काफिया, न ही मकसद कोई, लफ्ज़ यूँ ही पिरोये हुए हैं कई,

कोई कैसे न पूछे तुमसे ये ‘मिराज’, ये ग़ज़ल हुई भी तो क्या हुई.

यूँ ही ...

2010-12-29T21:44:00.000-08:00

ये लम्हा हो के रोशन यूँ बुझा ये क्या सवाल है,
जो गुज़र रहा है लम्हा वो कहते हैं की एक साल है.

यूँ फ़िक्र तो नहीं की कब आये थे कब चले गए,
हर याद में लिपटी हुई इक जुस्तजू बहरहाल है.

बिस्मिल्लाह के लिए मशविरा लेते हैं सय्यारों से,
होना चाँद का काइनात में खुद भी तो एक ख्याल है.

ग़ज़ल में लहू भी है, और कतरा कतरा जलते तेल का,
इस महफ़िल में साकी क्यूँ शमा ही बनी इक मिसाल है.

दहलीज़ ही बाकि है अब इन खँडहर इमारतों के बीच,
जो ढूँढ ले दर यहाँ पर खुदा का इक कमाल है.

क्यों रुसवा हुए कि बेपर्दा हैं, महफ़िल में हम “मिराज”
हर चेहरे पर नकाब सा दमकता हुस्न-ओ-जमाल है.

Inteezaar 1

2010-11-21T05:49:00.000-08:00

आज रात फिर, लकीरों के बीच,
कुछ ढून्ढ रही थी,
चाँद बादलों की चादर ओढ़े,
दूर मुस्कुरा रहा था.
उस ताम्बई चाँद से भी,
हैरान थी रात.
सय्यारों ने उसके माथे पर,
ज़िन्दगी तख्सील की थी.
रात शफ़क़ की रौशनी में,
उसे एक नज़र भर देख लेती,
पढ़ लेती तवारीख.
लेकिन रात लेट हो गयी थी.
आफताब से सामना न हो,
इस इंतज़ार में…
जिन दरीचों से रात रोज़,
आफताब को जाते देखा करती है,
उन्ही दरीचों के पीछे,
मुझे भी, न जाने,
किस आफताब के जाने का,
इंतज़ार है…

Sita.

2010-10-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Ram, why did you kill Ravana,
I was dishonored in your palaces by thee.

Forced out of the womb, I yearned for a home
Janak made me a princess whilst I wanted to roam,

I learnt and unlearnt to belong, to be;
Before I understood myself I was married to thee.

With a heavy heart and moist eyes, I left behind,
A home not my own, new places to find.

We came to Ayodhya and I was lost to all,
Till I wowed to find home in your banishment as goal.

Forests frightened yet gave me a calm I never had,
Each day brought me near to myself, I was glad.

My home was now all earth, skies and sea,
You were dutiful to me, I learned to love thee.

While you kept busy fighting demons as they say,
I became me, happy and free, I must say.

Till he came, took me away, and ran,
Imprisoned me in his gardens to avenge his clan.

Fates decreed, he fell in love with me,
But I had forever bound myself to thee.

He pined for me, I pined for thee,
You worried for your honor of the palace not me.

You won me back or did he loose me,
I was dishonored, not by him, but thee.

Had it not been for him I wouldn’t have known,
I was sacred, yet scared, yet strong when alone.

Banished, broken, betrayed I trudged,
The same forests and it was him I grudged.

The flowers wilted, the leaves all dried,
The trees all bent down with me and cried.

Clouds pregnant with water, earth ready to receive,
My birth as a mother and a woman who grieves.

Birds fed me water and grain I survived,
Wrapped in my grief day and night I cried.

I knew not why, what agonized me more,
If it was you or him or myself I am unsure.

In life, after death, he marked me with his name,
Sacred made by his love and not by your fame.

Oh Ram, why did you kill Ravana…
You loved honor of the kingdom you owned,
Where I was dishonored and shamed and scorned,
He owned my honor and you my shame,
Neither of you could ever own my name.

An ode.

2010-08-08T02:10:00.000-07:00

Lying bare on the shores, I wait for the sound,

Whispers from the sands, As my voice is drowned,

Searching and seeking, few ripples from the ground

Thin bubbles burst off me, sun smirked and frowned,

Writhing I struggled with sands, to wrench one mound,

Earth, I know, waits for me, to spin it round.

Still it stands, cold, frozen and bound,

I seethe as it sears, the pain grows as it hound,

Rays wring my ribs, snow covers all ground

I wait and wait, for the sands to resound.

Zidd...

2010-07-08T01:27:00.000-07:00

क्या ख्वाइश थी क्या जुस्तजू, क्यों रात भर जगे
रोशन न थी ये महफ़िल आज, क्यों रात भर जगे

न मेए ही थी बहलाने को, न साकी का साथ था
न ग़ज़ल थी, न नज़म कोई क्यों रात भर जगे

न वादा किसी के आने का, न वादे पे जाना था
तन्हा थमे इस लम्हे पर क्यों रात भर जगे

टुकड़े हुए हर बार क्यों पलकों से चुना यूँ
ख्वाब सेहर के गुलाम हैं, क्यों रात भर जगे

रंग चढ़ते भी अगर स्याह चादर पर कभी
चाँद सुर्ख होगा सोच कर क्यों रात भर जगे

जहाँ लफ्ज़ क़ैद हों नसीहत और इल्म में
किस गुफ्तगू की आस में यूँ रात भर जगे

फूल खिले जब भी बूँद बह आई ज़मीन पर
यूँ बंजर खुली आँखों से क्यों रात भर जगे

सौंधी थी महक शाम तक जो बासी हो चली
मसले हुए अरमानो पे क्यों रात भर जगे

किस्से नहीं कहता कोई ख़ामोशी की जुबां
हंगामा शुरू सेहर से हो क्यों रात भर जगे

‘मिराज’ नहीं मुकम्मल ज़िन्दगी इतना तो जाना हो
जो है नहीं सबब क्यों ढूँढें क्यों ढूँढें रात भर जगे

Tishnagi.

2010-05-25T03:56:00.000-07:00

वो क्यों आज कलम फिर पुरानी ढूँढ़ते है,
वक़्त में ठहेरी हुई कोई निशानी ढूँढ़ते हैं.

पैरों से तेज़ चलते इन रास्तों में यूँ क्यों
वो मंज़िल्लों के किस्से कहानी ढूँढ़ते हैं

नए रंग रौनक की दुनिया से जुदा
वो ज़ख्मो में दर्द जुबानी ढूँढ़ते हैं

कोई ग़ज़ल, कोई कता , न रुबाई की तड़प
वो महफ़िल यूँ रुसवा बेगानी ढूँढ़ते हैं

गोया रोशन ही न हो ये दिन और न रात
वो दो-पहर में शमा अनजानी ढूँढ़ते है

तारीख में जो लुहू से कई आयतें लिखी
हर लफ्ज़ में वो सिफर बेमानी ढूँढ़ते हैं.

मिटटी हैं, यादें हैं , जो यहाँ भी वहां भी
क्यों कर्बला में ही वो कुर्बानी ढूँढ़ते हैं

सांस चलती है, दिल भी धड़कता है “मिराज”
फिर कहाँ सब बेसबब जिंदगानी ढूँढ़ते हैं.

Red, Green and Black

2010-05-20T03:27:00.000-07:00

Here is my canvas, hung on the wall
A canopy of glass, no room no hall

The canvas splashed with reds, with greens
And shades of black stroked in between

Figures form as forms dissolve
Canvas fades as the lines evolve

I search for meanings in scattered lines
Embossed in gold and silver they shine

Straight from heaven they told they came
A multitude of hungry hands for frame

They tore apart the flesh off my frame
Devoured the colors and claimed my name

In frenzy I hacked and cut and chopped
Those hands that came to claim my mould

I drew out flesh off their fallen bones
Sew my canvas, painted till it shone

My canvas breathes, my colors swell
The forms rise up to heaven and hell

My canvas splashed with reds and greens
And shades of black wedged in between.

नींद टूट जाये 'मिराज' क्या सेहर लाये हो

2010-05-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

नींद टूट जाये 'मिराज' क्या सहर लाये हो,
इस शब् में आफ़ताब क्या कहर लाये हो

फलक से कुछ दूर की ख़ामोशी चूम कर
आवाजों की ये कौन सी दोपहर लाये हो

कलम बेआबरू होती है ऐसे भी मंज़र हैं,
इस नुमाइश में ये कौन सा शहर लाये हो

दरिया से कर के बैर माझी तड़पता ही रहा
यादों के ज़लज़ले में कैसी लहर लाये हो

पानी है या कि मय है, नशा चढ़ता ही नहीं
आज जाम लाये हो या फिर ज़हर लाये हो

बंद गांठो में ही ग़ालिब नज़्म बंधी रह गयी
ये कैसी तबाही छोड़ तुम शहर आये हो

Gazal...

2010-04-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

taking off those corase cloaks

underneath the sun bare bodies flock

hanging from a string of words

the verse bleeds, the rythm chokes

no sky no earth no clouds to see

clinging to a piece of rock

no open sea no stream no lake

tantalising, my tears mock

bereft of blood how do i write

my pen "Mirage" is a dired up stock.

listen...

2010-04-23T03:34:00.000-07:00

shhhh...
koi nahi hai.
shh shh...
theres no one.
shhhhhh...
have u gone mad? there is no one.
there is, there is...
and who exactly?
stop talking and listen.
faltu time nahi hai mere paas.
koi hai...
kaun hai?
listen...
to whom? to what? where?come on lets have dinner and lets go to sleep. i had a long day today and tommoro wont be any better.
there is something, can you not hear it? its crawling in through our closed doors and window panes. its creeping up the walls. its filling our senses. can you not hear it?
you are not feeling well, here hav something.
no m not hungry.
for god sake stop this nonsense.
....................
.........................
............................ ....................................
..........................................................................................
................
.......
...
.
m goin to sleep.
goodnight sweetie.
are you not coming?
no.
fine.
...........................................................................................................................................
An Earthquake rocks the capital during midnight.
300 feared dead, thousands missing.

yun hi...

2010-04-10T05:44:00.000-07:00

roz subha bister ki salvaton ki tarah
kuch ehsaas bhi mai
sahej deti hun
kahin koi bahar wala
gar hhar me jhanke
to koi kissa
mere chere par
dikhayi na de
koi aahat kisi salvat ki
sunayi na de

Gazal 1

2010-03-19T03:09:00.000-07:00

Khali kagaz ka khol chadha kar
Ek gazal
Kal raat aayi hogi
Chaandni me chupti hui
Raat ki badmaash aus ne
Cheda hoga use
Halki nam, aur gulabi
Mere darwaze
Kitna intezaar kiya hoga usne
Ki shayad uski awaaz
pohunchegi mujh tak
fir laut gayi hogi
khamosh darwazon se lad kar
aaj subha jab newspaper uthaya tha
wo khali kagaz mila mujhe

sonnet 1

2010-02-22T01:11:00.000-08:00

ever so slowly the darkness swells
each new breath and each new beat
the unknown rythm fill the veins
pulsating within a music sweet

desires melt,needs usurp
as light falls and fades into heat
unmatched battles in heavens lead
to neither victory nor defeat

i know not my place,my station here
yet i melt the heavens to meet
the dark swell on the bosom,my earth
while,i,wait in voids to greet

ethereal vision,eternal union
the cosmic dance of the battle in retreat

Find some time to also read...

2010-02-11T01:46:00.000-08:00

thediaryofanamateurobserver.blogspot.com

of unspoken promises

2010-02-08T02:57:00.000-08:00

little white threads dangling from the moon
lighted feathers of snow
falling
slowly, softly
leaning from my window
i see a little child
weaving
a reversible piece of cloth
a spread and a shroud
from the light feathers
falling in a pool of light
to drape the night
with the fireflies
fluttering with the eyelids
waiting
to be born

rang-e-mehfil

2009-12-10T02:45:00.000-08:00

नज़र नाज़ुक हैरान सर-ऐ-आम हुई है
कब सुबह हुई और कब शाम हुई है

शमा बुझ गयी परवाने जलते ही रहे
आज मय एक तनहा जाम हुई है

उम्र भर दास्ताँ कई तहों में लिखी
दो लफ़्ज़ों में ही गुफ्तगू तमाम हुई है

चाँद टपका न रात भरी आँख से सनम
लबों की ये धूप भी गुमनाम हुई है

ये मंज़र नया भी पुराना भी है
ख़ामोशी ही तूफ़ान का पैगाम हुई है

इस रंग-ऐ-महफ़िल में संभलना ए 'मिराज'
यहाँ कोरी हया भी बदनाम हुई है

lamhe

2009-12-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

guzar jate hain inhe aaj thaam lijiye

ye aus k lamhe hain, na jane dijiye

shab na ho chand na seher na aaftab

pighalti hui roshni hai, samet lijiye

naye khel dekhiye chashme badal badal

maile mausam ka hakim, kya kijiye

aankho k samandar ki lehron ki saazish

dil chahe din, chahe to raat kijiye

khwaish ki lau jo hui jati hai madham

chaand se kuch taare aaj, baant lijiye

ye khala nahi 'Mirage' mehfil-e-sukoon hai

har saans par ek naya jaam pijiye.

2009-11-28T06:57:00.000-08:00

On the gallows of wishful thinking
i redeem my sordid moments and wail
i swing suspended in clouds of wrath
and take a swig of hope to fail
the rites of life in the holy fire
the incantation fickle and frail
as i paint afresh my earth
with blood dried and colored pale

Yun hi...

2009-11-19T04:11:00.000-08:00

meri kalam, teri kalam,
kya fark hai zubaano me;
wo ashq kya, lahu nahi,
wo syahi nahi jo lafzon me;
wo seher kya, wo shaam kya,
kya fark hai paimaano me;
wo jaam kya jo na ho zeher,
jo na jal uthe maikhano me;
kya aaj kya hai kal kahan,
is pal se usko rashq hai;
mai aaj hun yakin nahi,
jo hai wo shayad aks hai.

one last effort

2009-08-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

Tears, that half stop in my eyes
Shreds I snatch and scratch all around
My face I hide behind the veil
As I listen to the haunted sound

Tonight again the color altered
The light split in seven sounds
As my day dressed as groom
Married my night in seven bounds

Scratches became scars yet show
And bleed enough for them to hound
Those trickles I still hold in my eyes
Trickles that will fertile the ground

No no I must hide, burst open myself
Parts torn and sewn for parts to pound
And hang over the seven skies
Split in light and split in sound

TANDAV

2009-07-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

A long lost vision
I had and had
that came and vanished
came back and went
when the clouds hung low
in the violet swings
the surf surged through sky
as the moon wept
stars dropped dead
the earth heaved
In the dark of the night
the oceans had melt
leaves flew off
to the distant lands
to grow on trees
the blossoms crept

and I towed and towed
with the broken vases
and spilled soiled words
drooping to pick
picking to droop
the wilted petals from
the desolate paradise
floating on the dry tears
weaving cheap chimeras
seamed with fine gossamers
hanging loose from the
forgotten tales of the lost memories
humming the haunted tones
that reverberate in rotten corners

as I collect silent sounds from
broken tables and soggy bread
mangled cutlery, mildewed bed
moth eaten clothes wrapped tight
on frozen skeletons pearly white
I hear the cuckoo clock cry
broken time bleeds to try
one last effort to match the step
to set in motion the dance of life.

Desire...

2009-07-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

through the fissures I guide
the humble breaths in
in inside of me
to the dry most core
of my parched self
sucking in some fresh death
laden with the moist tears
and strands of a few succulent dreams
flesh white with life
eyes oozing blood
till death holds on
I shall not give up.

2009-06-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

The rising smoke from the burnt milk
Wafting circling wafting up
Scum on the stove Smells of hunger
Wafting circling wafting up
The charred pan desire stained,
Stare hard at the red red flesh,
The blackened milk holds me back,
Bound and tied in a hunger mesh,
And
Oh the child wails and wails
And oh the child wails so loud
What shall be fed
To the wailing child
For the child who wails
Child has to be fed
The burnt dry blood
The burnt dry milk
For the endless hunger
The red black milk
The black red blood.

midnight dawn

2009-04-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

the shadow of the glittering light
a passing whim, a sniffle slight
drapes the sea goes back to yearn
the sultry moment on waves to burn
the incense dark with vapors cold
to weave dew drops in a goblet gold
the ether melts the fires moan
melody entrapped in voids forlorn
brought back to play by the shadow bright
the shadow of the glittering light
as it flows from the golden urn
the burning silver of the sun

repentance

2009-03-04T00:57:00.000-08:00

I listen to the clamor of a broken chime,
Fingers trying to recreate a broken rhyme.

I used to feel the verse I borne,
But words fell dead in their prime.

Living each moment was I, in the past,
A zombie I move in the frozen time.

I trace and retrace the steps I did tread,
Groveling for marks in grunge and grime.

I suffer not from dementia I know,
Stuck up within my own sweet slime.

Too long has “MIRAGE” for limitations argued,
What follows now is some dead dry rime.

FAANS

2009-01-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

दर्द बस तब तक महसूस होता है,
जब तक फांस दिखती है आँख को,
और उँगलियाँ करती हैं कोशिश,
उसे निकाल फेंकने की,
एक पतली सी सुई लेकर.
जब फांस दिखती नही,
मे मान जाती हूँ,
की दर्द नही है अब.

longing...

2009-01-10T06:59:00.000-08:00

समय के झड़ते फूलों की

कुछ एक पंखुडी

रख ही लेनी चाहिए

संभाल के

कभी कभी बसंत

बोहत देर से आता है.

An attempt at translation,

from the falling flowers of time,

some petals shoul be kept,

as souveniers,

carefully,

at times spring,

arrives very late.

For all the time i have not been here i just want to say i missed it very much but circumstances kept me away. hope to be present.

ALTERNATIVE...

2008-11-20T05:49:00.000-08:00

Draping the truth to adorn a lie,
A smile to easily utter a sigh,

Loneliness be woven within the fabric,
Love bleeds fast the color of a dye,

Unit conversion, best understood,
When a step away you see distance multiply,

Desires and longing and yearning arrive at,
A presumed past that pricks every try,

Crouching and crawling in the shadowy corners,
With words that subsume the urge to cry,

How long shall we sit and stare up above,
Lets hang “Mirage”, earth over the sky.

Artificial.

2008-11-03T23:20:00.000-08:00

Tow along,
Unfinished the task, for yet its day,
Its not yet dark, the light will stay,
The cosmos awake, the dusk away,
Just a passing shadow, its month of May,
No snow, no storm to bar your way,
The fall shall never fall from today.

binaries

2008-10-23T02:05:00.000-07:00

I lay listening to my world mourn,
Celebrations flamboyant while the sun shone.

Dark my color, darkness my name,
From Dreary hopes have I overgrown,

My silence makes each listen and lament
Every pain I hear cry out and moan.

For you the varied noises shall purge,
Let dawn be queen, let me be a drone.

Surrendering to a mild dementia,
You seek for me unknowing, unknown.

Your eyes tight shut in my presence
I simmer “Mirage” within, forlorn.

UFF...

2008-10-18T07:07:00.000-07:00

उफ़… कितना शोर है यहाँ, सन्नाटे की आवाज़ में,
बेसब्र दौड़ती मंजिलें, पनाह की तलाश में.

इसे आँख का सुरमा कहिये, ये खौफ जो है आँख में,
ये अँधेरा ही तो है छुपा जो रौशनी के लिबास में.

कुछ खो गया था रात दिन जिसे ढूँढा हमने ख्वाब में,
कुछ आरजू में गिन लिया कुछ चाहत के हिसाब में,

जो कल गया वो आज था, जो आज कल के साथ है,
गुजारिश गुलिस्तान की है जो खिल उठे इस ख़ाक में.

An attempt at the translation...(bad though)

Clamour encompassed in silence here,
Destinations are seeking refuge here,

Call my fear the kohl of my eyes,
Night comes draped in light here,

I searched my dreams for things I lost,
Few put in longings, few in desires here,

Yesterday what went was today, my now is lost in yesterday,
I hope for Eden to revive itself, from this debris lying here.

VANITY...

2008-10-05T06:02:00.000-07:00

Lo behold! Let’s go and vend,
Threads that took me eons to rend.

I must, share myself with the world,
On and off it has been my friend.

The skin takes time before falling off,
Every incision, someone comes to mend.

Yet somehow, the scars stand apart,
An archive of each, curve and bend.

The journey to purgation still unfinished,
The destination a delusion a dead dead end.

Scribbling on sheet, surfeited tales,
And these vain verses “Mirage” shall rend.

OPIUM...

2008-09-22T01:43:00.000-07:00

Burnt earth bereft of sky,
Eagles swoop to stay behind,
Vultures rule the mangled heaps,
Caskets unveiled by shadows blind.

Owls sing in the praise of hawks,
Bats blinking in endless gaze,
Unknown noise screams within,
As night descends to skulk on preys,

And we all stay silent.

benumbed

2008-09-15T03:25:00.000-07:00

Satin slashed, swell and sway,
Shredded, sweltering on the way.

Mangled bodies burning the furnace,
Minds indulging in mindless play.

The state solves the jigsaw puzzle,
My city back, beautiful and gay.

The idol of god is lit of course,
In the graveyards all night and day.

Let’s paint our faces to hide the tears,
Fears are for weak as they say.

“Mirage” you too, shall chatter and babble,
To hold the terrible silence at bay.

Kandhamal...

2008-09-08T02:50:00.000-07:00

Let’s write our destinies on the leaf of desire,
Let’s bring back the dead from the burning pyre.

Why smear some ash, some vermillion on the face,
Why act like mercenary puppets on hire.

Let’s not think for thinking makes it hard to remember,
Let’s forget for once that we created the fire.

Why blow over cinders and feed them with straw,
Why not let it be subsumed in its own mire.

Let’s pour some libations for the spirits, who watch,
Let’s not knowingly get into the gyre.

Why pretend to sleep while dying tonight,
Why fall “Mirage” and pretend to go higher.

Post script: This post/gazal is an appeal to the people of Kandhamal(a small district in Orissa) and Kashmir, where they are killing each other in the name of religion, in the name of God. Do we have a right to take away something that we cannot give to others? It is honour killing. Which honur? Whose honour? The pseudo secularism in India has not failed to bring shame to humanity for so long now. the bloodshed in the name of religion has to be stopped. There is only one religion, the religion of LOVE. How difficult is that to follow?

Secondly, this genre of English Gazal has been inspired by Agha Shahid Ali's innovative use of the Gazal Genre into English.

BEING HUMAN!

2008-09-04T07:04:00.000-07:00

I burst the blisters that cling to my flesh,
To dye the blood, with my frozen hands;
My cracked heels, thawing toes, perform,
A strange barter, between me and sands.

Together we grow, Together we suffer,
Finding our way, through times untold;
Moving past mirages, searching for oasis,
That exists, for we believe, will unfold.

I wouldn’t reach, the desired place,
I was desert, Desert was me;
I still fought on, shifting landscapes,
Churning constantly the cosmic sea.

I knew, the oasis was within me, yet,
Centuries of time to seek and strain;
Becoming the oasis, drop by drop,
Let go the desert, grain by grain.

The eternal moment on the vortex stands,
As the epochs ripple along with lands;
Yet I know, I will transform,
Renouncing the oasis, revealing the sands.

SILENCES

2008-08-27T23:35:00.001-07:00

They slowly creep into my home,
Settling behind the shadows high,
In the forsaken corners,
And solitary spaces,
Sighing sundered,
Scarred.
Stoic.

DREAMS.

2008-08-21T00:58:00.000-07:00

They stay suspended in reality,
Hanging down from the lush gardens,
Of green words with ripened fruits,
They grow on huge trees, ages old,
Long, thick, off shoots of language,
With heaving tentacles that,
Penetrate back into the earth,
Be one with the soil,
In the embrace of the roots,
To rise up all over again,
Undaunted yet again,
With new flowers,
Fragrance, Which rises and grows within,
Till all the senses are intoxicated.
To gather the world and ignite life.

ILLEGITIMATE SANITY...

2008-08-13T07:28:00.000-07:00

She sat in the corner of the room,
Gnawing at her words,
Licking at the piece of paper,
Where lay her meaningless rants
Carefully swallowing every crumb
Of her vomit on the page;
Her bare truth, her naked instincts;
An acid that brew her soul as ate her body

Acid that could not be sustained anywhere,
Acid that was not to be borne anywhere,
Acid that was to be, to be.
Acid that she had to be.

She had to scald and seethe
Into acid find retreat, before
She be welcomed back again
To this world, for the sane.

Parallels.

2008-08-04T01:42:00.000-07:00

While living the lines,
In mind, through mind;
I wander far away,
Slowly I draw this,
Magical power of apparition,
Fused with multiple identities,
I cry, smile and breathe
The air that whips the images,
While the feelings bleed,
Tears purgate my aimless efforts,
Of creating a line;
Or being created as a line;
Celebrating the protagonist.

I close the pages,
I come back,
And go on about my endless chores,
Struggling for life;
Struggling against life;
Apparitions suddenly coming to life;
In faces I meet on way to work,
Lines that ooze lives in my ears,
Over the endless phone calls;
When I close my eyes and sit back,
To let the mind untangle a bit,
A question whirls around,
Who is not a protagonist?

the third world

2008-08-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

comma full stop exclamation question mark
visible blank spaces invisible dark places
the alphabet collapses the lines don’t meet
the word blurs on the wet canvas sheet
the lines break off and fall apart
the song is stopped as soon as it starts
they write and sing and they know it not
the Muse is dead the melody lost
no prayers or lamentations heard
no one waits anymore for Noah’s bird

The fear!

2008-06-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

It crawls, beneath the skin,
Loosening, lumps of flesh,
Burrowing deeper,
And deeper, And deeper,
Conquering every inch of belief,
My body becomes a battlefield,
In need of victory and,
A desire for defeat,
The last shreds of me,
Begin to feel the siege.
A part of me is left behind.
The Devastated destitute self,
Unyielding, unmoving,
That sits and broods and longs,
But fights not back to reclaim,
Submitted I stand,
Against myself.

तेरी सुबह मेरी रात !

2008-06-24T00:19:00.000-07:00

एक बूँद धूप की,
एक बूँद छाँव की,
रात की हांडी में,
सुबह की गरमाई की,
खुशबु .

एक टुकडा आकाश का,
एक टुकडा ज़मीन का,
रात के तंदूर में,
सुबह के कोयले का,
ताप .

एक टुकडा चाँद का,
एक बूँद तकदीर की,
रात के सितार में,
सुबह के संगीत की,
मिठास.

एक हिस्सा बादल का,
एक हिस्सा शरीर का,
रात के प्याले में,
सुबह की झील का,
स्वाद.

एक आंच ख्वाइश की,
एक आंच आज़माइश की,
रात क सांचे में,
सुबह के भगवान् सा,
इंसान.

The self!

2008-06-19T03:15:00.000-07:00

In the dark sunlit woods abound;
Burning in the furnace;
The souls seen lighting up the Altar.

Rummaging through the barren springs, found;
Smoothened out shriveled flowers;
The souls being offered at the Altar.

The air thick with incense mounds;
Heaps of breaths dipped in essence;
The souls busy, scenting the Altar.

From the echoes of the lost sound,
Notes played in perfect cacophony,
The souls quietly sing to the Altar.

I stand alone, the world beyond,
With no soul and no altar,
With no questions and no answers,
A moment embracing ETERNITY.

The inevitable loss!

2008-06-16T07:37:00.000-07:00

On stones, and caves
In clouds in waves,
On the walls, on trees,
In raindrops, in breeze,
On seals and clay plates,
In stars and fates,
On sheaves and barks,
On fabric, in art.
They wrote and wrote,
And stored and stored,
And saved and saved,
From dangers untold.

On paper in ink,
In photos, in print,
Histories, biographies,
Fantasy and mysteries,
Volumes and volumes,
Of ideas and feelings,
From floor till the ceiling,
The anxiety to preserve,
Against amnesia reserve,
The demented thoughts.
Those exist not.

Of man's first disobedience!

2008-06-05T09:03:00.001-07:00

Boiling, blistering, simmering, sweltering
They scald the insides of my body.
No muscle, no bone,
Squirming, surrendering,
Imbibing more and more,
Seeking still more,
Watching the desires,
Turning into needs,
I
A sculpture, a piece of rock,
Burning inside,
On Infinite pyres of thoughts.
From times unknown,
Every now and then,
Through the dark crevices,
Spurts and slithers,
My sins,
My words.

In between...

2008-05-30T03:43:00.000-07:00

The heaven and hell
Lying sprawled upon,
The garden of paradise,

Brooding over,
The creation of Byzantine,
Imprinting what Michael said,
Or did he,
Really?

The fantastic prophecy,
Zion, blooming,
Over the ruins of Delphi.

It is so and I believe,
Creating this universe,
Within, and the precarious balance…
The earth supported,
On two horns of the Bull.

In between...
I believe...
So do you…
?

The holy trinity.

2008-05-22T22:23:00.000-07:00

With tatters on, he walks,
Sifting the garbage,
That was discarded yesterday,
Joining the broken bricks,
Collecting the wasted wishes,
Gathering the muddy mortar,
Stuffing in the mildewed dreams,
There’s no ground beneath the feet,
Some rubble from the blast,
The three stand as one,
The future present in past.

A story.

2008-04-23T20:43:00.000-07:00

Lost in the labyrinths,
It moved in and out,
Of myriad maddening mazes,
Wide eyed skeletons staring,
Fusing with the thoughts,
Mingling with fresh earth,
The water from the tides,
Travel to the veins to pulsate,
The stale air swirls,
Sighs and sticks,
To the zombied mortar,
The charcoal churns,
The mortar is coloured,
It stays and moves,
And moves and stays,
And block by block,
Of beings dissolve,
And guide the zombies,
To many other mazes,
Bringing along the other forms,
Dissolving, precipitating,
And when they rest,
Blithe at a point in history,
The new story is conjured,
And the epic continues…

happy holi...

2008-03-21T22:12:00.000-07:00

kuch rango ke saath, kuch rango ke beech,

machalti is zindagi , ke machalte hue geet,

mubarak ho aapko, apno ke saath.

2008-01-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

If I may, just lay back for a minute to see, the words dancing, colours singing, moments silently whispering new stories, perhaps I would not sit and curse the wind that whips my hair like someone thrashing straw, or I wont call names to that fly that sticks around me even when I am through with my bread jam, perhaps I will not miss him but feel him right beside, perhaps I wont think that there is still too much to be done before this moment can be celebrated, perhaps the epiphany would forever last.
Only if I could feel happy watching the butterfly fluttering around and don’t feel the need to write theories about the wind and velocity, perhaps when I feel things more than I thought about them, I would certainly enjoy what is not than repenting about what is.
Perhaps only if, like so many great people, one day I wake up to realize that I have grown up enough to know what is good or what is bad for me, perhaps if I am able to decide what is it that I want to do, which again lasts only for the moment, coz I am caught unawares by the very next moment that comes around and throws me flat on my face and I realize that it is a new moment. People call me fickle, am I?

I won’t go on to say that I am committed to no-commitment, I want to simply share that this is how I feel. I won’t get into the question of whether it's right or wrong, 'coz it doesn’t really matter any more, the sharing with these words helps me realize one of the various selves that I have.

I don’t believe in changing myself 'coz I am never here nor there, am always in between, always changing, like the water that starts as a trickle from the mountain top covered with snow and flows on to become a gurgling brook, then a river finally reaching the sea, an other world, a new life and I hope to be the trickle that does meet the sea, becomes one with the sea and still stays that first drop of the melted snow at the peak bringing about a complete change in the weather, in time, in existence. Perhaps, I will be.

New Year Wishes

2007-12-30T22:46:00.000-08:00

May the year to come, bring with it
Big Dreams and Bigger Achievements.

Have a Healthy and Succesful 2008.

-Adee

for long...

2007-12-25T22:40:00.000-08:00

for long i stayed...

with unfinished words,

that form in the heart,

play with my mind,

settle on my lips,

and refuse to move out,

the ink spreads on the paper,

pen stops mid way and,

they detach themselves from me,

aflutter they hover around me,

leave me bemused,

till the time,

i no longer wish to imprint them for the naked eye,

i loose myself in those endless hues,

those lines that are not,
of words that will never be,

a wild serenity will live inside me.

for long...

Viraha

2007-11-30T01:39:00.001-08:00

Earth lies looking at the blushing sky,
With evening kisses floating around,
The sun slowly setting inch by inch,
Beneath the grey twilight,
Till it suddenly disappears;

Gazing at the sinking warmth,
Wrapping the receding light around,
Watching the birds go behind the leaves,
Lamp by lamp ignited in the minds,
Till the glow reaches the sky,

Fireflies buzzing with their lights,
Crickets singing lullabies,
The moths fly up to my faint candle,
Crackling with life,
Till the wings fall dead;

The air thick with the smell of falling night,
The scent of a presence embraces,
The proximity of some thoughts beside,
Music of a distant flute materialize,
Till the trance reaches the soul;

The dark waters will beckon Radha,
The peacock feather will call her again,
And lonely bank of Yamuna will recite,
Sacred song of the Raas leela,
To the Gopi who sits there every night.

HUM

2007-11-30T01:18:00.000-08:00

Tere rang rachi
Tere sang rachi,
Tere naam rachi,
Tere maan rachi,

Pal-pal mai pisi,
Har pal mai dhuli,
Tere haath pe kesar,
Si gaadh rachi,

Saari raat ghuli,
Fir subha khili,
Tere mathe tilak,
Ki chaap rachi,

Teri saans basi,
Tere sath chali,
Tere aangan, ban
Rangoli rachi.

Ye mehndi meri,
Saanwariya teri,
Hatheli meri,
Rekha teri rachi.

"medias res"

2007-11-20T07:34:00.000-08:00

Too bored to stay within,
Too tired of staying without,
Up and down the stairs I go.

The cushions too soft,
The pebbles too hard;
The ceiling too low,
The sky too far;
The rooms too constrained,
The grounds too vast;
The noises muted,
The music jars;
The coldness suffocating,
The warmth harsh;
The stagnation a whirlpool,
The movement a marsh;

This is all I do; this is all I know;
Up and down the stairs I go.

Happy Diwali

2007-11-08T02:42:00.000-08:00

May this Diwali spread Light in each heart

FACES

2007-11-03T01:13:00.000-07:00

The frozen fire held,
In the cold gaze,
Tries to pierce through, and;
Look beyond the face,
Look beneath the face,
Look between the face,
Look against the face,
Look through the face,
Look at the face,
And tear it in the end,
To look at me, instead of the face.
To find, yet another face.

RHETORIC QUESTIONS

2007-10-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

How long do the scars last,
How happy can the hurts be,
How sweet the dried up drops in eyes,
How far can blinded eyes see;

How long does an epoch last,
How happy the hedonistic hell can be,
How sweet the naked spices on the tongue,
How far these legs will take thee;

How long does orchestrated cacophony last,
How happy the haunted hearts can be,
How sweet the scent of rotten flowers,
How far this mind is going to be;

How long the lumpen faith can last,
How happy the humble sins can be,
How sweet the scalding contrition,
How far the prayer will follow thee?

I know therefore I am.

2007-10-15T01:45:00.000-07:00

it was by a magnetic pull,

an age long forgotten melody being played,

an eternal dance being danced,

a being that slowly emerged,

and that was,

ME.

WAITING...

2007-09-03T01:07:00.000-07:00

I felt that I died,
And dead I was,
Being the sacrificial scapegoat,
Now I wait for the resurrection…

Oceanicmirages wait for the resurrection.

Sacrifice...

2007-08-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

There was a bid,
In that celebrated auction,
With just one buyer,
Only one precious,
Only one artist,
He sold his masterpiece, his soul.
And attained,
The halo of light.
They call it sacrifice, do you?

"Illusions" by Richard Bach

2007-08-08T12:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight at 1 a.m, I asked this book a question as i always do when I don't really know what should I do, rather what is right, and the reply that I got was:

Every person,

all the events of your life

are there because you have

drawn them there.

What you choose

to do with them is

up to you.

this story of ours

2007-08-04T04:48:00.000-07:00

band aankho me chupi
sadiyon purani
anjaan kuch
kuch jani pehchani
waqt se pehle, waqt ke baad
teri meri likhi har kahani
fir usi satah ki zubaani
ban kar aayegi wahi nayi kahani

na bharam koi
na faasle hamare beech
na oonchaiyon ke ta-le simte hue
raaz ki zubaani
na saharon ki zarurat
na mit-te bharoson ki chah
na manzil tak jaati
koi dagar purani

jo dekha, suna, jana
har pal kiya mehsus
wo chand lamhe khusi ke
sahej lena tum
aur
dena use
jo aaye tumhare paas
aur mange ye kahani

yahi toh hai bus
choti si, nazuk si
andekhi, fir bhi jani pehchani
teri aur meri, ye ankahi kahani

this is dee. written by her as only a comment on my post 'sawaal'. it was too beautiful to be kept there.

it is her message, "jo dekha, suna, jana, har pal kiya mehsus, wo chand lamhe khusi ke, sahej lena tum aur dena use, jo aaye tumhare paas aur mange ye kahani" (what was seen, heard, imbibed and felt every moment, those few moments of joy, gather them close and give to the one who comes and asks for these) that is the spirit of my writing.

yes, sometimes i do feel what this story of us will be like. its a journey that has only begun. where will the gods lead us? and whether anybody will remember us after we are gone. will you?

- adi.

the thread that binds

2007-07-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

It is around a holy tree,
She revolved her belief,
It stands a sacred symbol,
Surrounded by four pillars of gold,
Small engravings of wisdom,
Being chanted out,
In a language long forgotten,
Surviving only as a dead whisper,
A whisper loud enough to wield power,
To keep her enslaved;
Surrounded by red and yellow flags,
The amber incense filling the senses with a fragrance that helps,
To create a trance that culminates into,
A numb ecstasy;
A trance of oaths, pledges,
Offerings and devotion;
Endless heads with her bowing down,
Millions of souls revolving around,
The tree oozing out divine faith,
Her faith, their faith;
Taken from within and given away,
Sold by the proxy Gods,
As sacred threads; that
Are tied back on the stems, on the branches
Where it stays and will stay
For her, for them,
The manifested faith, faith she searches for,
Faith she will always search for,
Till it is hers.

A few evenings ago the two of us, unknowningly, were writing the same thing, differently ofcourse, but similar also. And it turned out into a little story of faith and wonder. Here's the other thought.

Main
Dheer Gambhir, Dharti putra
Khada akela
Devalaya ke prangan mein
Yugon yugon se
Maun sanwad mein
Pooch raha
dhyeya apna
Vayu-varun
Akash-arun se
Ya dhoondh raha tha
Antim-agni alingan mein

Tum
Shakti putri
Gatimay, chapal
Prashant, atal
Baandh gayin
Chahun aur mere
Aastha ki
dori kushal

Aur main
Ashaay peepal
Ban utha
Kalpvriksh sabal

Shikwa...

2007-07-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

Khaak hote in anjaan lamho ka kya kije,
Tujhse na ho baat, fir lafzon ka kya kije;

Beparwah shor-o-gul ke beech hai khoti,
Is kambhakt beimaan zubaan ka kya kije;

Khwab dekhkar taameer bhi kar lete hum inhe,
Is adhkhuli adhjagi aankh ka kya kije;

Deewangi ki koi had dhoti to paar karte,
Is besabab beadab raftaar ka kya kije;

Khuda se maangte gar khuda hume nawaazta tujh se,
Is be mauke ramzaan me azaan ka kya kije;

Baith-te har us mehfil me jahan zikr ho tera,
Is bad-mizaaz bad-dimaag jahaan ka kya kije;

Fursat hoti to har ik lafz sajate tere naam se duniya k liye,
Badzaat is waqt ki guhaar ka kya kije;

Sailaab hota to karte thaamne ki koshish hum koi,
Palak se jude is there tufaan ka kya kije;

Junoon hai ki zalzala le aaye jahan bhar ki khushi,
Jo khud hi se dare hum, aise jazbaat ka kya kije.

Arjuna's conscience

2007-07-15T12:41:00.000-07:00

Line by line the mortal pearls
Are grinded to dust,
While safely kept in the closet.
And when adorned,
By the saints frail,
Shine like the rusted nails.

They are not my creations,
Mere reflections,
On the assorted suspensions.
Disintegrating by and by,
Leaving behind vulnerable voids.

And here I am, their curator,
Trying to preserve,
With potions and paints,
Keep them alive,
Until I faint;
An alarm I am, with them I stay,
Lest the devil take them away,
Take me away…

While fighting this fierce battle, I pray,
O! Krishna guide me.
Against myself this battle is mine,
Suspended in truth, suspended in time.

Eyes have forgotten the tears,
Awry smiles in mind somewhere,
Beyond lies my battlefield,
O! Krishna come to my shield
Let me not forsake myself
Long before I cease to be.

Or so it seems...

2007-07-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Standing in front of a pool of water,
Gazing at the depth increased manifold,
The consciousness searching for my origin,
The eyes feasting on the clarity yet untold,
I loved the ugly reflection inside,
I liked my universe smiling back at me,
The same scum, the similar marshes,
The sultry, simmering, summer swamps
The hungry bog with its doomed tentacles,
Spreading the plague; through irresistible clamps,
I was merely looking at an artificial pit,
With a mirror base,
That produced the oceanic mirage,
Recreating the depth,
Rewriting the history,
Refashioning my past;
Entranced I stood,
Bound to the now beautified ugliness,
By a conscious surrender of the search,
I felt tired and weary,
Or so it seemed…

Joy 2

2007-07-05T14:09:00.000-07:00

Sight of food for the famished body,
The relaxing hollows of the cheeks,
The dilation of the eye lids,
The slight smiling upper lip,
The accentuated desire inside,
The reaching out…

SHIKAYAT.

2007-07-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

Dekha aaina gaur se kai baar humne,
Khud se hum rubaru na hue;
Tamaasha-e-yaar hua mehfil me janib,
Tamaashbeen par beaabru na hue;
Hamari fairist me kai dost the,
Jo sab hue par dost na hue;
Jam saja kar mehfil me saki,
Saath Hamare shaamil na hue;
Jagaya raat bhar chaand taaron ki justuju ne,
Seher ke khwab bhi sahare na hue;
Wo saamne hain humare baithe kiye shikwa,
Ilzaam humpar, jo humare na hue;
Gila utar raha hai nus nus me nasha bun kar,
Piye aansu humne paimaane na hue;
Thama hawaon ko hi khamosh raahgeer jaan kar,
Toofan me hijr ke, kinare na hue;
Fir usi veeran mehfil ke, dar pe hain baithe,
Khali maikhane se aane ke ishare na hue;
Bikhar rahe hain alfaaz, ibaadat ke yun hi,
Hum is roshan khudaai ko gawaara na hue.

Dreams!!!

2007-06-26T10:30:00.000-07:00

They stay suspended in reality,
Hanging down from the lush gardens,
Of green words with ripened fruits,
They grow on huge trees, ages old,
Long thick off shoots of language,
With heaving tentacles that,
Penetrate back into the earth,
Be one with the soil,
In the embrace of the roots,
To rise up all over again,
Undaunted yet again,
With new flowers,
Fragrance, Which rises and grows within,
Till all the senses are intoxicated.
To gather the world and ignite life.

JOY 1

2007-06-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

A blooming bud, the petals unfurling;
The awakening rays shimmering,
On the delicate dew drops;
The soft chirruping, the lazy flutter,
The blue streaked with a blush,
Smiling shyly…

UNARTICULATED

2007-06-20T13:17:00.000-07:00

Unarticulated thoughts hanging in my mind,
Quivering, squirming,
Spaghetti like,
Noodles like,
Soft, squashy…

Unarticulated expression bubbling in my mind,
Diffusing, dissolving,
Tea leaves like,
Coffee beans like,
Aromatic, pungent…

Unarticulated feelings precipitate in my mind,
Crystallizing, condensing,
Hail stones like,
Snow flakes like,
Frozen, frosty…

Unarticulated words…
No tomb stone,
No epitaph,
A faint trail…
To the soulful grave…

ME!!!!!!!!!

2007-06-12T10:48:00.000-07:00

Suspended notes in the air,
The wave particles resonating,
In volatile frequencies,
Up and down the bow moves,
Mercilessly on the strings,
The force produces the pain,
Felt under the trembling tips,
Of the fingers frozen in one action,
Steadfast over tearing it all out from the heart,
The seamless sound flows through,
A forfeited body.

the promise...

2007-06-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

...is being fulfilled, here.

MERA JAADUGAR...

2007-06-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

Kitni baar, jab samay se kheej uthti hun;
Bohat haule,
Ya bohat tez chalne par,
Kursi par khali baithe,
Table par baahein tikaye,
Dekhti hun,
Bikhre aansuon ko pareshaan karte hue,
Kabhi ye samay mere saath chalta hi nahi,
Ya toh aage,
Ya toh peeche,
Uddta rehta hai idhar udhar;
Jald hi baandhungi ise,
Aur choker par tank kar chalungi,
Us jaadugar ke saath,
Jiska vaada hai,
Wo lekar aayega,
Ye Kohinoor mere liye…

My wizard

So often, when I get weary of this time,
For moving,
So slow, or extremely fast,
Sitting in the chair,
My arms rest on the table,
I see, the fallen tears, complaining, cribbing,
The time never yields to my requests,
It moves,
Either ahead,
Or lags million miles behind,
It floats around me here and there…
Soon I will tie it,
And will wear it, sewn on the choker,
With my wizard,
Who has promised,
To get this Kohinoor for me…

THE WEB OF LIFE...

2007-06-06T02:10:00.000-07:00

Recurrent loops of the wax; shaped up as webs and webs and webs of struggling existence; the spider enjoys the game of trapping. The prey epitomizes the beauty of the fight, the valour, the courage and finally the renunciation…

One wins and the Other ensures by loosing the game that “The One” wins, the ultimate sacrifice of the self is to give up the self, a complete renunciation of the ego.

The most interesting observation is to keep looking at the gossamers spun, strengthened enough to hold the weighty ego of the insect struggle to survive, breaking free and trapped again, breaking free and trapped again, it goes on for a while…

The fit of loss, of loosing it within, dissolves the struggle.

Finally the web becomes comfortable enough.

Does it?

At times it does. And at times the insect beautifully spins on and on in the web, relentlessly, almost like a wheel in motion, and tear the bonds apart by the sheer momentum of the spinning existence, by the magnitude of pain, the heat produced by the numb mind keeps the body working, there is no vision, its not blindness, it’s the time, that is swung over and over and the fate is swung around the other side.

The insect breaks free, swerves its life…

To again swerve from another web and it goes on and on…

The web of life…

A tear!

2007-05-30T22:11:00.000-07:00

Carved out of pain,
Marked by happiness,
Softened by desire,
Sculpted by envy,
Polished by pride,
Pushed by hurt,
Called upon by loneliness,
It slips out of the alcove,
And spills at the altar

The first comment that i got for this poem more than an year back was,

[you love to play with words] :-)

Fond memory{I had gone to meet my wizard for the first time to his office, n we were friends then}...how the moment all comes back. so vivid...it seems it was yesterday n i have come a long way since then...

REVIVAL...

2007-05-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

Kabhi kabhi kagaz par
Yun hi
Bikhar jate hain
Kuch adhure, toote foote,
Shabd
Lakiron se kaate hue,
Syahi ke rang k peeche se, Jhaankte,
Shabd
Kuch zang lage, kuch maile
Kuch ghise hue,
Kuch khurdare, kuch gale hue,
Shabd
Pareshan karte hain…
Chhu bhi nahi paate,
Teri yaad k ehsaas ko,
Fir aakhir me bus,
Tera naam likhti hun,
Aur simat k puri duniya meri,
Us ek shabd me,
Nikhar jati hai…
Khilkhila uthti hai…
Aur fir se Ji uthte hain,
Mere shabd…

FLASHES...

2007-05-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

The memories crashed on her heart,
Percolating down, the sandy beach;
Sliding inside the caves,
Comfortably accommodating themselves,
As dead shells,
Slimy weeds,
Disjointed skeleton of a crab,
Broken pieces of stones,
Drifting wrecks,
She sat there watching the sunset,
Watching the disappearing rays,
Watching the skies put on a blanket,
Watching the birds sing goodnight,
And there was a flash…
A shooting star…
She wished for the morning;
The waves crashed and crashed,
But not on her heart anymore;
Not bringing any shells and skeleton,
Not staying back on the rocks,
Just, flashing the moon,
Flashing the sun…

INVOCATION TO DIVINE!!!

2007-05-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

The candle is burnt;
The flame no longer claims lives;
The wax has evaporated,
Traces of soot hang here and there,
Nightmares trouble the dead mind,
Tugging at the dead heart,
Claiming what is still alive,
The darkness all around is purged,
With the light of your soul,
It is not yet time,
To give up,
Come, rise from the ashes,
No, no Christ...

But YOU...

FORFEITED

2007-05-15T23:21:00.000-07:00

Forfeited
Desires… Dreams… Determination…
Wisdom… Strength… Destination…
Freedom… Liberty… Rebellion…
Smiles… Tears… Sensations…
Truths… Lies… Resignation…
Life… Love… Dedication…

Yes, you guessed right;
She is a woman…

UNIVERSAL LAW!!!

2007-05-10T11:40:00.000-07:00

Sitting at the doorsteps,

Watching the rain,

Slashing across her face,

A few unknown memories;

She smiled and yet,

Two drops stealthily,

Creped out of her eyes;

Testing the content of salt in the drops.

She held those drops in her palm,

Swaying, rolling and slowly,

She stretched her arm,

In that torrential downpour,

And those two tears were washed away;

Sent along the unknown road…

Heady happiness in her, now drooping eyes,

The subtle haphazard heaviness,

Settling in her head,

The pain held steadfast,

In that numb gaze,

Looking through the sky.

Unaware of the many bicycles, rickshaws,

Scooters, bikes and cars,

Passing across,

Men, women rushing by; avoiding the rain;

Taking shelters beside the boundary walls of the houses,

Or in the park across the house,

The motor shed serving,

As one huge umbrella.

Oblivious of their glances,

Yet noticing minutely,

The worms creeping out of the ground,

The walls, the rusted swings in the park,

The cemented seats, the leaves and the grass,

The railings, the roads,

The whole universe under her gaze,

Being cleansed off the grime.

She is pulled on the road by her friends,

And she splits into two.

The soul keeps sitting at the door steps,

And she laughs and smiles in the rain,

They jump in the puddles,

Run in the park,

Throw mud and leaves at each other,

She embraces the rain,

They shout overjoyed,

Intoxicated in unabashed innocence,

All the while staring back at herself.

Imploring, pleading, beseeching herself to join,

Who still sat with that cold, numb gaze,

At the doorstep;

Making the threshold her home, she sits;

Neither brooding, nor complaining, nor waiting,

Nor searching, nor sad,

Just numb; comfortably numb…

The rain stops in a couple of hours,

People get back to their work,

She and her friends,

Like, bright, newly dressed flowers,

Happily swaying in the breeze,

Like the green happy trees,

Chatter away to glory,

Sitting in the park,

Half soaked and half dry,

Like the pretty mermaids,

Whispering softly,

She glances back at the doorstep.

And finds herself,

Snuggled up to clouds,

Being lulled into a sleep.

The mild breeze crystallizing around her.

The drops floating around, caressing her.

She bids goodbye to her friends,

Gently waking herself, to go back home.

Hugging each other tightly, they cry;

Tears streaming down their eyes,

Something welling up inside both of them,

And finally they drown yet again,

Into each other.

Half smiling, half crying;

Not alive, yet not dying…

Assorted chocolates...

2007-04-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

Tensed tears and nervous faith,
Downcast heart recieves,
A shower of love at the metro station;
The moments melt inside my mouth.

A bewildered mind calmed down,
By delightful smiles and hearty laughs,
At the roadside Banta wala outside faculty,
The moments melt inside my mouth.

Doubts wiped out by affection and care,
A few words enveleoped,
In the close comfort of home,
The moments melt inside my mouth.

A severe headache,A lethargy,
Work seeped in boredom,
Scented by a desire for completion,
The moments melt inside my mouth.

Assorted chocolates was what i had,
As food for soul on menu today.

Moments melting inside my mouth,

A treat for senses any day.

Menu:

A dark,delecious ,Pure Adi bar.
Minty Anu and virein.
Crackling Charu and Dev.
Caramelled Nidhi(sis) and Megha.
Perky Niharika N Swati n Dhananjay(bro).
Eclairy Gautam n Sachin.
Sweet Shubendu and shri cadbury like.
N molten me...

The forehead Kiss...

2007-04-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

Vulnerable of doubts,

Afraid of the self,

With my leaden footsteps,

Towards an unknown sea,

I felt i would drown,

When you came an anchored me,

With that forehead Kiss.

Making it easier for me to hold on,

While the storm raged around me,

I calmed down,

The ship is damaged a little,

But you kept me stead fast,

The storm is past,

And i shall sail across,

Till the end...

I would call it the "kiss of Faith" which will help the heart to hold on to you for tommorow is going to be beautiful.

Celebrating Love

2007-03-23T14:11:00.000-07:00

nothing new.....

nothing old.....

nothing happy.....

nothing sad.....

nothing happens.....

nothing done.....

nothing concieved.....

nothing aborted.....

still is the air.
still me.
Still you.
The world spins n spins.....
Nothing never stops.....

Walking on...

2007-03-07T04:02:00.000-08:00

The sand slipping beneath my feet,

The coarse grains,

Scratching and piercing through the thick skin,

A wave washing over the unwanted sand,

Leaving behind unwantd salts.

The crabs pushing forward,

The green blue slimy shells.

The flesh cutting through the beauty,

Goes straight to embrace the sand.

A little deeper inside the sea,

Standing on the silt,

Feeling the world pass beneath my feet,

With every wave,

I pass away too.

And yet the next wave,

Brings me back,

To the same sand,the same silt,

The same shore with a different name,

And I am the same stone,

With the same heart,

Which beats against every grain...

WORDS !!!

2007-03-03T01:17:00.000-08:00

Like the earthworms,
Wriggling out of the ground,
When it rains.
Ensuring survival is a game of hide and seek.

Like the spider,
Spining a web,on and on,
Suspending the self.
Ensuring survival is a game of hide and seek.

Like the hawk,
Steadily stalking the prey,
Soaring high in the sky.
Ensuring survival is a game of hide and seek.

Like the caterpillars,
Metamorphosising into cocoons,
The tender cover produces colours.
Ensuring survival is a game of hhide and seek.

Like the insects,
Camouflaging into the world,
Decieving the danger,securing strife.
Ensuring survival is a game of hide and seek.

And now the most important part of the post.
A very happy holi to every body =) Celebrating love with colours.Hmmm... All the reasons to feel happy. May all the readers be painted in different hues of love.

RADHA !!!

2007-02-27T05:47:00.000-08:00

Taaron ko chhant kar,
Pooja ki thali me diye jalaye hain.
Komal ehsaas haule se piro kar,
Sundar surbhit haar banaye hain.
Kesar aur kum kum nas-nas me bhar kar,
Hawa ne ungli se tilak lagaye hain.
Dhoop baati aur kapoor saanso se chun kar,
Mann ke kaune-kaune ehkaye hain.
Rom-rom se japp-te tera naam,
Band hothon se agannit shankh bajaye hain.
Maatha tek kar dehleez par teri,
Aastha aur vishwaas ke bhog lagaye hain.
Aarti ki,rupehli,lau se,
Jhuke hue ye naiyan jagmagaye hain.
Hatheliyon ko jodd kar tere aage,
Nanhe-nanhe haath failaye hain.

Hey shaam fir yamuna k teer,
Lehron par kiranon ne sapne sajaye hain.
Vanshi ki dhun par thirakti meri payal,
Har aahat pe Radha ke Shaam aaye hain.

Helpless!!!

2007-02-23T05:40:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.... M back with my series of stray thoughts that i held back f0r one or the other reason.
This time i would be publishing two of these disjointed sets of ummm,lets say doubts...or moments i felt weak.

Helpless III/IGNORANCE/

Grazing the grass of reason,
Braying the plea of bliss,
Under the sun that burns;
Bearing the burden,
Of base mockery,
And a battle of wits,
With mute acceptance,
In the melancholic voids of memory.

Helpless 4/LANGUAGE/

Like a cluster of tadpoles,
Wriggling about in the road side puddles,
Sun soaks it up,
And the language dies,
Barely completing,
The second stage of metamorphosis,
Waiting to be,
Part of the pond that stinks...

Bus yun hi!!!

2007-02-22T03:46:00.000-08:00

Ek aks hai zahalat ka,
Har rang ka rang laal hai,
Bus dhuan hi uthta hai kafir,
Ye raakh nahi mashaal hai.

Hai roshan fir kaafila uska,
Surkh shabnam k najaron ki tarah,
Fir bhi vo khud insaano sa,
Tanha hai baitha majaron ki tarah.

Kuch thame hue sannate hain,
Kuch anjaane sawaal hain,
Wo goonjti hai cheekh vahan,
Kuch ankahe jahan khyal hain.

Saagar pe sifar hai lehron ka,
Kuch dube hue kinare hain,
Baandh me bandhi chaandni hai,
Jo toote tare, Hamare hain.

Har katre se ehsaas ke,
Wo behaya yun hi karte hain jua,
Khala hai bandagi me kahin,
Mehfilon me jaam sajati hai dua.