Wishes...

Another year is going by... we all will enjoy while we bid adieu to the year thats taking leave n becoming a past, Of this eve when i talk again, i will, using past tense...
Wishing everybody a very happy new year...
I personally dont feel like celebrating it this time, actually i never do but this time all the more. What difference is it going to make? What is so special thats going to happen? Whats new thats being created? Sounding weird...may be.
But yes I would like to thank the year that has gone by...
It reconfirmed my faith in love, it gave me new friends, it gave me a new direction to look forward to... I joined this blog world:-)(thanx to my wizard)...

So let me put it this way, celebrating the past n wishing the best for the future...
Wishing everybody a very happy new year again....

Enjoy...

NEW YEAR EVE...

New year eve away from u... I dont want to describe d feeling...

But then m i not with u n u with me...

Well sounds poetic enough but hurts...

Nothing much to say...

Missing you...

YOU!!!

Jab seher ki surkh chaader odhe,

Sardi ki dhoop tera ehsaas ban kar aaye;

Jab aus ki boondon par nange paaunv,

Saanse, sard dhund ko pighalayen;

Jab dopeher ko baahon me samet kar mai baithun,

Aur baahon me aakar teri yaad simat jaye;

Shaam se haule se teri baat karun aur,

Sharmaa kar, ye din chip jaye;

Saari raat, aansuon se dhula vo aadha chaand,

Hamari mulakaat ke chand lamhe gungunaye;

Tere likhe hue kuch lafz seene se lagaye,

Ye adh jagi raat ek kavita ban jaye...

Hmmm, its raining outside as m sitting in this cafe, near the university, writing abt the few moments that i spend with him n the few moments that stay till I meet him next. Moments that hold life, moments i live. Wish we were together at the moment*sighs* but life never grants all the wishes. I have our love with me as warmth against this winter rain...

Ek kavita hai.

This post is for one of my most precious friend who is very angry... Apu, m sorry. I really m... Maan ja na... Everything seems so bad with you so upset. dont know but things seem so wrong and so empty... Aparna m realy sorry if i've hurt you. I never meant to...

Vo jo ek dost ruth-ta hai;

Uski aankho ki masoom shikayat me;

Achanak mujhe dhund-ti aankho me;

Hothon par aa kar jo kuch nahi kehti;

Us tanz bhari shikayat me;

Ek kavita hai...

This poem that is welling up inside my heart is APARNA MUDI.

Apu I LOVE U.

M SORRY.

A middleclass wnter morning!

Alarm ringing by my bedside,
The book lying half open on my pillow;
I curled up inside my quilt,
Sinking in the cosy comfort of memories;
The smog slightly seeping in through the space,
Where the doors keep stooping to kiss the floor.
The hint of the dying night colouring the birth of the day;
The stars on the bluish sky,
Still visible through my curtain less windows;

The whole body shivering,
When my toes touch the cold floor,
The cold water numbing my face and tongue...
Numbing my body;

Till I go back to the kitchen,
And with the numbness,
Ignite the fire and get myself a cup of tea,
And Sipping it with a numb mind,
Planing, organising, manipulating,
The day and the deadlines...

The lazy bath,
In the cold cold bathroom,
Trying to deny the love and care,
Evoked by the chills,
Fight back the warmth of the tears;
And let the breaking dawn fill,
All the hollow spaces around and inside;

The voids covered with,
Bread, vegetables and unwashed utensils,
The torn kurta that needs mending,
The bus stop where every day,
The crowd seems to increase;

The people I think,
Exists and are a part of my life,
The endless clatter of tongues,
Banging inside my head...

The cold water dripping from my hair,
On the shirt pierces through these prisms;
And here I am shivering in the cold room,
Pulling on a pullover,
And heading to the Kitchen,
To the unmade beds,
To the things scattered everywhere in the room,
Picking up, ignoring.

The cold floor numbing the feet,
Giving them the energy,
To put the unread book in the bag,
And move out to embrace the day...
And wait for the numb numb nght...

India shining(II)

I have written a lot on love n here m back to vat i started long time back; India Shining. This is the second poem in the series. Not that m tired of writing about love but I need to get lot of things out of my system. So here it is...

Through the tattered sunshine and patched warmth;
Numb fingers working at the cold fire;
Preserving the wet coal and caked oil;
The dry eyes looking through,
THe broken glasses;
And across the scattered images
A resigned shrivelld up flower looks up;
The fragrance that lies trapped in words,
Carefully merged into blank endless smiles;

The barter between body and soul,
On the red carpet of dreams,
Dilligently, Patiently sifting through the grains of time,
To reach out for crumbs,
That might fill the empty stomach;

And life shimmers;
On the lost tears,
And the empty wait;
Where the moments turn into eternity,
And eternity withdraws into,
An acceptance; An empty Fate...

With love to my Wizard!!!

Facing the mirror I smiled,

The glass reflected me,

Parting me into

Sillicon and sand;

The whirlpool of pain inside,

Hurled a heart at the fragile glass;

Splinter by splinter,

Piece by piece,

Crack by crack,

It fell apart;

The sillicon all red with my tears;

The sand all wet with my blood;

Burning and melting and freezing again;

My being vapourized bit by bit,

To search for you,

And be a mirror again;

Till you came by,

A wizard with a magic wand,

The splinters all joined;

The sand shone gold;

The sillicon filled the voids;

The moments merged into glass;

That reflects not me, not you,

But a starlit night;

A glowing pink sun;

The warm green expanse;

With smiling flowers

Flocks of birds with their happy flight;

The bluish white innocence,

Ripples around;

Images that touch the surface,

And reflects beautiful sounds;

Its a bioscope that mirrors

A thousand mirrors;

And slowly the desert mirages

Come alive...

DIVINE!!!

My day starts with you;
In my dreams that strech,
From the skies to the seas,
The horizon comes alive,
In these two small eyes,
Which I had closed last night,
With your images dancing;
The whole stage of my conciousness,
Lit by your thoughts;
Where the feelings flow restlessly
I gather them together, rolling the yarn,
And throughout the night,
I knit new worlds,
While this world is asleep,
I hold on to the threads of desires,
And leap from one consiousness to the other,
Travelling in the unknown space,
Till the time I reach the other end,
Where I melt into you;
And this world comes alive,
The sparks all pink shimmering around,
Embracing the sky,
Caressing the waves,
Kissing the moon;
The Sun comes up,
Coz we met yester night...

Pyar!!!

Pyaar;
Jaise chuleh par rakha doodh
Mitti ki haandi me
Dheemi aanch par kadhta hua.

Pyaar;
Jaise pehli baarish ki boondon me milkar
Dharti ki saundhi mehek sa
Halke-Halke umadtaa hua.

Pyaar;
Jaise sil batta par pisi
Mirch aur pudine ki chatni sa
Teekha aur machalta hua.

Pyar;
Jaise khet me, fasalon ke beech
Panchi bhagaata putle sa
Chori-Chori hansta hua.

Pyaar;
Jaise sardi ki raat me
Chaati se lagi angeethi ki garmaahat sa
Madham-madham sulagta hua.

Pyaar;
Jaise sharir raat ka bheega hua aanchal
Subah ki suneheri dhoop me
Halka gulabi hota, sanwarta hua.

When it pains so much!!!

I fell down, got a wound on my knee, deeep large cut. The blood oozing out made me realize the pain, made me feel i needed to get it dressed up from a doctor. I went to the Doc who cleaned all the dust with cotton soaked with water and then aplied antiseptic lotion which made me cry loudly, though the cries were mute, m not supposed to cry out loud coz i've grown up, m not a kid. The Doc dressed up my wound n told me that i can get it dressed at home by anybody, its not a major cut n well it wasnt, nothing is a major cut. nothing pains until we let it to i guess. Came back home n kept cribbing about my pain causing voilence against all the ears who were not interested... Bad i guess, but could not help it... Next day i had to redress it. I slowly started to remove the bandage rolling it at the same time, feeling gross at the dry blood. Then i came to the last bit, the cotton had stuck to my wound n the momemt i started to peel it off it started paining, hurting like hell, i kept on removing it slowly till the time it became unbearable for me to bear that slow pain which was soaking my tears n i was wasting them n i decided to snap out of it. i held that peice of dressing from one end, closed my eyes, clenchd the other fist and pulled it hard, pulling some skin out with it, i let the blood ooze out, the pus accumulate on the periphery of the wound, so that i could clear the mess with some antiseptic and redress it. The wound should not stay, even if the scar does... The pain had to precipitate so that i could gather it and throw it with the discarded bandage. It hurts n it did but the wound has started to heal....